I bought a fancy glass pitcher the other day

At an elderly couple’s Estate sale.

It still had the sticker on it, as if it had never been used.

Then I brought it home

And asked my tall son to place it high up on a shelf

that I could not even reach.

Today I thought about my first son.

And how fragile he was.

He had heart disease.

Every moment of his life was a High Tea,

Served in a glass pitcher,

with good china.

We laughed, we danced, we celebrated-

unspoken clarity and understanding

that he was special.

Time was special.

and at any moment he could break.

And then he did

when he was eight.

And somehow we became plastic pitcher people.

We are protected and guarded-

In our health, our decisions

And even simple conversations.

We laugh less often.

My family is now tough and durable

My boys wrestle and argue

And grow

But I am realizing that every moment with them

is still fragile and temporary.

My response to my children,

Every look I give my husband,

All of life

really is that special.

They deserve nothing less than

the fanfare of the High Tea.

I should dress up

and laugh

and celebrate

more often.

And maybe even serve tea

In my new glass pitcher.

dedicated to Miss Kathy and her friends

and their High Tea.

I just got my idic-15 newsletter the other day. They are the int’l support group that was such a blessing to us all the years we had Joshua in our life. After losing him on 02, I am no longer on the list serve but do love to read the inspiring stories of the beautiful idic15 kids and their families. It can be viewed on their website .

This latest issue addressed a sensitive subject: the fears that are a reality as parents of a special needs child. In the various interviews, I was so glad to see that what carries them, and all of us, past our fears is that resounding hope, faith and prayers eternal. My friend, Jane, added a poem in the newsletter she found by Brian Andreas at his site, Storypeople.com

It was really touching and it caused me to miss my Joshua’s hilarious cackle laughter that could brighten anyone’s day. Here it is- I think it is called “More Fair”

They left me

with your shadow,

saying things like

Life is not fair

& I believed them

for a long time.

But today,

I remembered

the way you laughed

& the heat

of your hand

in mine.

& I knew that

life is more fair

than we can

ever imagine

if

we are there

to live it.

Thank you God for precious memories. and reminding me to still be in the moment.

Must go play with my boys.